Did you ever notice that in the word Proverbs is the word verb. The definition of a verb is "A verb is a word that does an action, shows a state of being, links two words together or helps another verb." (Can you tell I drill this into my children's heads?) Did you ever notice in the book of Proverbs there are a lot of actions we should be taking or a lot of state of beings we should be in? For the month of December I have taken to trying to read a chapter a day from Proverbs. Today was chapter 3. It was a difficult passage to get through. There are a lot of verbs....keep, bind, trust, acknowledge, fear, honor, etc. The most well known verses from this chapter are verses 5 & 6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." The whole trust thing is a little tough right now. I have no idea what God is doing. Why is He allowing these pests to invade our home? Why is He taking so long to get rid of them? Why all this expense? I don't even want to see the water, gas and electric bills this month. I don't understand. I am trying to acknowledge Him. Trying to trust that this is all for something.
Two verses that really spoke to me, however, were verses 24 and 25 "When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared." Right now, my sleep is anything but sweet. I suspect that is due to my lack of trust and huge fear of sudden disaster. I need to trust God. That He knows what He is doing, that He has my best interests in mind, and that He will give me the strength to do this. I am far from doing this. Please pray that I would find the confidence in the Lord that I need to finish this task.
I already woke up this morning with tears in my eyes, dreading this day. I dread all the days. I dread all the work that is involved, the feeling of being held hostage in my own home, and the feeling of no end in sight. I dread that there is no escape. It will be a month on Friday that we have been dealing with this problem. How much longer will this go on? I need to trust. I am trying.