I tried to be brave.....

Though Matt and Sarah would NOT consider our trip to PopPop and Grammy's a vacation (they still had to do school everyday), I definitely counted it as a vacation. I slept, relaxed, enjoyed my in-laws company, and slept....you get the picture! I really miss it. Especially tonight. I really tried to be brave, but in the end failed and desperately tried NOT to have a panic attack. Monday night is God Squad and it is Andy's job to teach and lead it. When it started up the end of January he got people to cover for him so he could stay home with me as I was just not up to dealing with the bed bugs on my own. While I was gone, he attended the different evening clubs and I was fine with that as I wasn't home. Tonight was the first night I was home and he asked if he should stay home or go. I thought about it and was feeling good about things so I told him to go with the knowledge he wouldn't be staying late and would get someone to drive the kids home. Well, bath time did me. I was bathing Daniel and found he had a suspicious mark on his shin. It looks to be a bed bug bite. UGH!!!! Matt said he also has a suspicious mark on his finger (yeah, they bite ANYWHERE!). It looks as though there may be one on the boys bed. Tomorrow we will be taking the bed apart, spraying it, and praying that the little devil is a male and can't lay eggs. It looks like Andy will stay home a few more weeks. I hate what this is doing to me. I hate feeling so completely wimpy. I just mentally am having a terrible time handling even looking at a bed bug. The idea of searching for them starts my heart beating incredibly fast and I feel like I'm going to get sick to my stomach. It's insane. I really need this to be over soon. Please, Lord, release us from these bed bugs!