Friday, January 2, 2009

My Constant Prayer

Throughout these last two months I have awoken, spent the day, and gone to bed with the same prayer on my lips: Father, You are mighty and strong and able to do abundantly above all we ask or think. Please, Father, remove these bed bugs from our home. Help us to return our focus to You, our family, and to ministry." This event has been such an incredible roller coaster of emotions. One minute I can be feeling a bit of relief and even not think about the dreadful things. But more often than not, my mind is ALWAYS on THEM. I believe it is beginning to affect me physically. I am constantly anxious, to the point where I can't even bear to go upstairs for fear I will spot a bed bug. When Andy isn't here I have to literally force myself to go and look for them for the sake of my children. Every time I do find one I have to remind myself to breath so as to not completely lose it. Today we have found two very live ones. One was in my daughter's room which we hadn't seen any in in weeks. The other above the door to my boys room. At this point we have no idea how they are getting into our house as we believe we have sealed the walls between the infected house and ours. I am praying that they aren't hatching in our house and these are the result of that.

A big concern at this point is that we are to be attending our yearly staff meetings in a couple of weeks. It is an event we look forward to each year. The kids get to play with the other staff kids for three days! We get to socialize with the rest of the staff and have fun (something that doesn't happen as often as I would like even though we only live a few blocks from each other. But this trip requires us to be gone for two nights and three days. I am struggling with whether or not we can really be going. We can't really be leaving our house for two nights with all these bugs running around. It will be life giving them a license to infest. I believe one of the reasons we haven't be "infested" like normal bed bug hosts is that we have really kept on top of them. If we continue seeing them for the next two weeks I can't go. It wouldn't be any fun as I would constantly be thinking about these dreadful creatures. Please pray that we stop seeing them this week. We have gone as long as four days without seeing them. It would have to be at least a week of not seeing them for me to be even remotely comfortable with leaving the house for that many days. Please pray. We are due to leave January 18th and come home on the 20th. Please pray that the bugs would be gone by January 9th, if not sooner. If we see them after that date it is going to be a struggle for me to go. Is that a lack in faith that God can protect my house from bed bugs? I don't know. I have found out through this whole situation that I don't know much. I have been through a lot of different struggles, but I don't think any of them have rocked my faith in God as much as these tiny little bugs. I know there are many out there praying for us, and I am very thankful to you all. Please continue to pray that this trial will come to a swift end.

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